A Mother’s Day Round-up (and Flash Sale)
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(Un)happy Mother’s Day! I’ve been writing a lot about motherhood for the last little while, so here’s a round-up and a flash sale. Subscribe now and get 20% off More to Hate forever! (I only do this a few times a year, so don’t sleep on this offer.) Needless to say, it makes a great gift for Moms and childless cat ladies alike.
Moms Signaling Compliance
I found myself yesterday scurrying to pick up my daughter early from her first day at a new school. My mission? To apply carefully selected, attractive, expensive Etsy nametags, emblazoned with her formerly favorite non-animal—unicorns—to the spare clothing in the almost-regulation-size wooden box in her cubby. I had considered several candidates for th…
Don’t Have Children
It’s the most predictable thing imaginable: the Trump administration, co-helmed by the rabid pro-natalist Elon Musk and the sadsack pallbearer of patriarchy, J.D. Vance, wants to convince you to have more children. The internet has erupted in jeers to the tune that the forecast inducement of 5000 dollars is ludicrously inadequate. And that’s entirely ju…
Regret is the Bogeyman of Patriarchy
For a long period in my life, I adamantly did not want children. I did not want to lose myself, in the way I was sure I would, to the duties of motherhood. I wanted, above all, to write—and to have the time and space and quiet to lose myself in ideas.
What You Don’t Want for Mother’s Day
When I think about the profound joys and pleasures of parenthood, they are all about the specifics and the resulting intimacy with my child. The way I know the precise number of freckles (five) on the bridge of her nose; the way she collects treasures—dandelions, rocks, acorns—in the pocket of her dress and cannot wait to show them to me; the way she uses both tried and original phrases to say “I love you.” (“I love you every time I see you, Mommy,” was a recent favorite.) I love remembering particular things we’ve done together—from the mundane to the striking—and the fact that her memory is so much better than mine is. The other day, we were talking about the white ibis who tried to steal her vanilla donut at a zoo in Sydney and I realized how she saw me: as her valiant protector, capable of warding off even the most determined pastry-thief.
The Misogyny of Mother’s Day—and How to Resist it
There’s a common perception among my crowd that Mother’s Day is sort of irritating, but ultimately benign. There’s an indulgent way we laugh at the burnt French Toast served way too late in bed, leaving behind a messy kitchen. There’s a certain looking the other way at much of the messaging: that mothers are to be celebrated, albeit only once per annum, for being giving, self-sacrificing, and caring only about their families.
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