19 Comments
Aug 29Liked by Kate Manne

i hate how he can so confidently use the term “consensual” without any evidence. there is literally no reason for him to think that beyond his entitlement.

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Aug 29Liked by Kate Manne

Something like this also steals something which is irrecoverable: The unalloyed joy of winning a World Cup!! This act will always be a blemish on the memories the players will have of their moment in the sun.

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Aug 29Liked by Kate Manne

I’m struck by the Karl-Heinz Rummenigge quote: “absolutely okay.” As in: ‘This was *clearly* and *definitively* just barely over the line.’

It’s remarkable to hear so much certainty in what they acknowledge moments later is a moral grey area. (The original German was “absolut okay”----an absolute certainty of German certainty followed by a casual Englishism.)

The Yahoo article quotes another German soccer player: “Another German World Cup winner, Lothar Matthaus, held a similar view saying: ‘You can kiss. These are emotions, love, passion, bliss. I have nothing against such pictures, even if it is the president of the association.’

“‘Maybe you went a bit too far. For me it’s not a discussion and it’s okay.’”

Similar logic: Yes, it’s definitely a bit too far. But it’s definitively only a little bit too far.

It’s like the VAR of sexual assault.

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Aug 29Liked by Kate Manne

Thank you for this! Especially saddened by the Spain soccer team’s glory and celebration being taken away and the psychic pain of this. I love your writing!

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Aug 29Liked by Kate Manne

Thank you so much for this, Kate. Once again, you've said exactly what needed to be said. I watched the last half-hour or so of the final women's World Cup football/soccer match and, first, was struck by the near absence of women among the coaches for Spain. (I saw only one person who presented as a woman, in contrast with the US, whose head coach and many of the others presented as women.) Then, I was surprised to see, during the awards ceremony, that virtually all of the male officials hugged the women on the Spanish team. But I was shocked to see Rubiales grab Hermosa and pull her in for a full-on kiss on her mouth. I don't recall hearing any commentary about this at the time (but I may have been watching it on Telemundo by then). I hadn't followed any media coverage of this since then, so was unaware of any follow-up till I read your post.

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Aug 29Liked by Kate Manne

Spot on!!!

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+1M, Kate.

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genuine question here.. why are everyone acting as if they've never made a mistake. A politician steals and no! A feminist gets hurt its murder. It sounds like american and culture cancelling. is this fair? Or is it because he's a man? If a woman did the same thing would the same happen? Crazy to me

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Aug 31·edited Aug 31

There is no question (in my mind) that what Luis Rubiales did is assault. There is no question that women are serially assaulted. My issue is with the strict gendered language of assault. Women can be and sometimes are sexual predators too. The very notion that rape (as well as sexual assault) is defined by penetration is a gendered definition (is sexual arousal the same as intent? Is one a necessary condition for the other? If an individual is aroused but hasn't given consent, is it still rape? Yes, to that last one). It nullifies the traumatic experiences of a large number of men who have been victims of female sexual predators. The Bureau of Justice Statistics has studied male victims of sexual assault (it happens... gah) and estimates that 46% of them reported a female perpetrator. This is not to negate the experiences of countless women. It is intended to provide some context and acknowledge the neglected experiences of male victims.

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