I appreciate your work so much. Just so you know, I've taught *Down Girl* in my Feminist Theory course three times now, and students have almost universally adored the book. I'm actually using your NYT piece on food noise in my intro class on the first day (as a sample to get them working on reading philosophy, and also as part of my side hustle as one of your hype women).
One thing the CUT piece make me reflect on is how all my body shame stuff came directly from women. Yes, women who were receiving that misogyny from men but women no less, especially my mother but also other women in the family and around me. This made me fearful of talking about the issues with women well into my forties. That meant that while I was in therapy for All Kinds of Things, the body stuff never really got processed because with my women therapists I could never broach the subject, I never felt safe and they never helped me get there.
Thank you for the article in The Cut. I had a similar experience in high school. At cross country practice one day, I was standing by the water fountain and overheard some of my male teammates comment on my looks and that I would be ok-looking if I did something about my weight and hair. Even though I knew intellectually that it was bullshit and that they were assholes who I didn't even like, I'd had a lifetime of fat-shaming, mostly from my parents, and it stung. I developed anorexia shortly thereafter. Fortunately, my parents got me treatment quickly and I've navigated my life as a small-to-medium fat person ever since, with all the attendant baggage that goes with that.
I just read the Cut piece. The personal nature of it, which must have taken enormous courage, really makes it hit home - a few times there was a line that knocked the wind out of me. You do such important work, and do it so well. Thank you for all that you do.
I loved the insights you provided in Down Girl and gave copies to my daughters. I’m sorry you had to experience the misogyny you discuss in The Cut but thank you for taking the time and effort and courage to share and explain. I look forward to buying your new book.
One good thing about growing older is the ability to reflect on the past. When I was young, every boy’s dream was to have a girlfriend who was short, cute, non-threatening and a cheerleader type. One of my first boyfriends explained to me, early on, that I was way too tall. What to do? On hearing my predicament my mother, looking up at me, said something like “hogwash, you’re no taller than I am.” I won’t discuss my adolescence any further, but it was not great.
My mother was a very giving, caring person. My father was an artist who didn’t want children, but seeing the imminent demise of the marriage, gave in. So, I was a very wanted child, at least by one parent. Being the only child of older parents with limited resources, I started reading at an early age. All my reading introduced me to the possibility of a different, more exciting future, much to my mother’s dismay. She had been raised to believe women are supposed to serve men, to give them attention and care. Not that it made her all that happy, but she never questioned it.
Wanting more, I signed on early to second wave feminism, the Berkeley free-speech movement and all the protests of the 60’s. But I also married someone who, unfortunately, needed a lot of attention and care. My point is, despite my intellectual knowledge of the reality of women’s lives, my only guide to inhabiting the world I lived in was to copy my mother. In the world of business, I was often accused of being “too nice.” One of my daughters was recently accused of being “pathologically nice.” Another of my daughters came home from the 6th grade one day and proudly stated “I complained today.” Somehow my daughters have flourished, despite their upbringing. In today’s world it’s almost a luxury to get through the day without becoming a monster. Both my daughters and I, as all women do, continue to deal with misogyny almost daily; mostly in small, camouflaged, ways, but not always. I wish we knew more about overcoming the gap between intellectual understanding and substantive change.
Kate, I read the Cut article and I am blown away by the power that comes with sharing your stories--how much connection there is for all of us who grew up as women in this culture, the trauma that puberty and becoming sexualized bodies entails. I just wanted to write BRAVA. Thank you for writing what you do, so generously and vulnerably--the strength comes in saying it out loud, letting others know that the house is burning, that it's not just us. I've pre-ordered a while ago but will continue to shout to the rooftops your work, it's so important and so grateful for it! 💜
I finished my advanced reader copy of the book last night and plan to post a review on my Substack next week. It’s important that those of us who can use our voice for change do so. Your book will help further this fight!
Like you, I struggled with weight all my life. It wasn’t until I had a second child caught in the grips of anorexia that I got the courage to stop dieting myself.
I haven’t yet read it, but the New York Times did a piece about what’s in and out for 2024. At the top of the “out” list was “assigning morality to weight,” which made me so happy to see, because in spite of the continued BS around diet culture, there is some level of rebellion bubbling up to the masses.
I haven’t read your piece about food noise yet, but I agree with your point. Our bodies are meant to signal hunger, especially when we aren’t eating enough or getting the right nutrients. My food noise went away when I stopped dieting and started intuitive eating. I’m not consumed by thoughts of food anymore because I’m not starving myself--no diet drugs needed!
I can’t actually imagine how scary and unpleasant--while also being edifying and good--promoting this book is (is gonna be). Sending all good wishes and rooting for you. Review coming to The Bad Place and Goodreads as soon as my copies arrives!!!
Can't wait to read your book! Will absolutely review in all the places. Thank you for being brave enough to tell your personal story so that others can see their own struggles in it and not feel so alone in their healing. I'm in the process of writing about an English teacher who was sexually inappropriate and contributed to my teen eating disorder. I've been very squeamish about writing this part of my story down, so your article was helpful and inspiring. Much appreciation.
Just wanted to say thank you for your work. I'm cheering you on and the book pub date is special to me (my birthday!), so I'll be thinking of you then, too. ☀️
I appreciate your work so much. Just so you know, I've taught *Down Girl* in my Feminist Theory course three times now, and students have almost universally adored the book. I'm actually using your NYT piece on food noise in my intro class on the first day (as a sample to get them working on reading philosophy, and also as part of my side hustle as one of your hype women).
One thing the CUT piece make me reflect on is how all my body shame stuff came directly from women. Yes, women who were receiving that misogyny from men but women no less, especially my mother but also other women in the family and around me. This made me fearful of talking about the issues with women well into my forties. That meant that while I was in therapy for All Kinds of Things, the body stuff never really got processed because with my women therapists I could never broach the subject, I never felt safe and they never helped me get there.
Thank you for the article in The Cut. I had a similar experience in high school. At cross country practice one day, I was standing by the water fountain and overheard some of my male teammates comment on my looks and that I would be ok-looking if I did something about my weight and hair. Even though I knew intellectually that it was bullshit and that they were assholes who I didn't even like, I'd had a lifetime of fat-shaming, mostly from my parents, and it stung. I developed anorexia shortly thereafter. Fortunately, my parents got me treatment quickly and I've navigated my life as a small-to-medium fat person ever since, with all the attendant baggage that goes with that.
I just read the Cut piece. The personal nature of it, which must have taken enormous courage, really makes it hit home - a few times there was a line that knocked the wind out of me. You do such important work, and do it so well. Thank you for all that you do.
I loved the insights you provided in Down Girl and gave copies to my daughters. I’m sorry you had to experience the misogyny you discuss in The Cut but thank you for taking the time and effort and courage to share and explain. I look forward to buying your new book.
One good thing about growing older is the ability to reflect on the past. When I was young, every boy’s dream was to have a girlfriend who was short, cute, non-threatening and a cheerleader type. One of my first boyfriends explained to me, early on, that I was way too tall. What to do? On hearing my predicament my mother, looking up at me, said something like “hogwash, you’re no taller than I am.” I won’t discuss my adolescence any further, but it was not great.
My mother was a very giving, caring person. My father was an artist who didn’t want children, but seeing the imminent demise of the marriage, gave in. So, I was a very wanted child, at least by one parent. Being the only child of older parents with limited resources, I started reading at an early age. All my reading introduced me to the possibility of a different, more exciting future, much to my mother’s dismay. She had been raised to believe women are supposed to serve men, to give them attention and care. Not that it made her all that happy, but she never questioned it.
Wanting more, I signed on early to second wave feminism, the Berkeley free-speech movement and all the protests of the 60’s. But I also married someone who, unfortunately, needed a lot of attention and care. My point is, despite my intellectual knowledge of the reality of women’s lives, my only guide to inhabiting the world I lived in was to copy my mother. In the world of business, I was often accused of being “too nice.” One of my daughters was recently accused of being “pathologically nice.” Another of my daughters came home from the 6th grade one day and proudly stated “I complained today.” Somehow my daughters have flourished, despite their upbringing. In today’s world it’s almost a luxury to get through the day without becoming a monster. Both my daughters and I, as all women do, continue to deal with misogyny almost daily; mostly in small, camouflaged, ways, but not always. I wish we knew more about overcoming the gap between intellectual understanding and substantive change.
Kate, I read the Cut article and I am blown away by the power that comes with sharing your stories--how much connection there is for all of us who grew up as women in this culture, the trauma that puberty and becoming sexualized bodies entails. I just wanted to write BRAVA. Thank you for writing what you do, so generously and vulnerably--the strength comes in saying it out loud, letting others know that the house is burning, that it's not just us. I've pre-ordered a while ago but will continue to shout to the rooftops your work, it's so important and so grateful for it! 💜
Hi Kate,
I finished my advanced reader copy of the book last night and plan to post a review on my Substack next week. It’s important that those of us who can use our voice for change do so. Your book will help further this fight!
Like you, I struggled with weight all my life. It wasn’t until I had a second child caught in the grips of anorexia that I got the courage to stop dieting myself.
I haven’t yet read it, but the New York Times did a piece about what’s in and out for 2024. At the top of the “out” list was “assigning morality to weight,” which made me so happy to see, because in spite of the continued BS around diet culture, there is some level of rebellion bubbling up to the masses.
I haven’t read your piece about food noise yet, but I agree with your point. Our bodies are meant to signal hunger, especially when we aren’t eating enough or getting the right nutrients. My food noise went away when I stopped dieting and started intuitive eating. I’m not consumed by thoughts of food anymore because I’m not starving myself--no diet drugs needed!
Best of luck on your book release!
Kristi
I can’t actually imagine how scary and unpleasant--while also being edifying and good--promoting this book is (is gonna be). Sending all good wishes and rooting for you. Review coming to The Bad Place and Goodreads as soon as my copies arrives!!!
Can't wait to read your book! Will absolutely review in all the places. Thank you for being brave enough to tell your personal story so that others can see their own struggles in it and not feel so alone in their healing. I'm in the process of writing about an English teacher who was sexually inappropriate and contributed to my teen eating disorder. I've been very squeamish about writing this part of my story down, so your article was helpful and inspiring. Much appreciation.
I loved it and I had to stop reading it (the cut article) because I don't want to ruin the book :)
Pre ordered the audible. Looking forward to hearing it!
Just wanted to say thank you for your work. I'm cheering you on and the book pub date is special to me (my birthday!), so I'll be thinking of you then, too. ☀️
Love your interview with Virginia SS and have asked my local library to purchase your book.
Loved the Cornell keynote you gave today! I especially like your concept of body reflexivity.
Hi Kate! I’ve preordered your book and am very much looking forward to reading it. Happy to share it on my socials 😀
I just had an email from Waterstones to say my preorder is on its way! Can’t wait!