22 Comments
Jul 27, 2023Liked by Kate Manne

So glad you are giving yourself the rest you need and want! I also want to add: I am neurodivergent, and your level of resting activity feels overwhelming to me. It’s far more than I could achieve even at my highest energy levels, due to executive functioning and sensory sensitivity issues. I just want to name this to contribute towards ND visibility -- for both ND and NT readers.

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This is SO important. Thank you for this perspective. Sending my warmest!

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Jul 27, 2023Liked by Kate Manne

It's truly stunning how much you accomplished in the last decade. How is that even possible? I'm happy to hear you're giving yourself time to rest. I just pre-ordered Unshrinking from our local independent bookstore. Thanks for the link to the post explaining how important pre-orders are. I had no idea.

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Thank you so much, dear Susan! I so value your extraordinary work--and our friendship.

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Jul 27, 2023Liked by Kate Manne

Taking breaks from being overworked is stressful -- the breaks themselves -- when you have a choice. In other words, much of the stress is rooted in the fact of having a choice to determine how one uses one’s time. When a person is not working to survive but to achieve excellence, taking a break feels like a betrayal of the goal of achieving excellence -- in your case, producing a book you hope is insightful and helpful to others and doing your teaching and scholarship. “Will I be outdone by someone else, leaving my work overshadowed or lost entirely?” It’s the dilemma of the cognitive worker: How do I balance my pursuit of excellence with...life? I don’t think this is rooted in capitalism. It is a fundamental tension between a desire to achieve excellence (in any endeavor) and in living a real human life.

As to a clean house: I have found that order is calming -- to me. Physical clutter causes stress -- for me. We radically reduced the amount of our personal property a couple of years ago. Clean spaces -- as opposed to spaces stacked with...stuff -- is calming to us. Paper I have found to be a major source of stress -- just looking at it but also trying to find things. Over a long period of time, bit by bit, I digitized nearly everything. I can shut my MacBook and know everything can be found within it (or in its links to the cloud). No boxes of paper, no paper strewn about my floor, no tipping mountains of paper. It’s not necessarily fun work but it is cathartic to see paper slowly disappear -- and then, finally, be gone completely.

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This is highly relatable. I used to be so messy, but the clutter of parenting is sometimes so difficult for me to roll with. Thanks for the insightful comment!

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Jul 30, 2023Liked by Kate Manne

I just graduated and moved away from Cornell and one of my (few) regrets is that I did not have a chance to meet you before I left. Mostly COVID manners kept me away. I did have the pleasure of a class with your brilliant and very funny husband, as well as your books and other writing. I felt today reading this that we were just chatting over lunch or coffee. Thank you. <3

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Awww that's so kind! Thank you and I will pass your delightful words onto my awesome husband. I hope we get to meet in the not-too-distant future. 🙏❤️

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Oh, the output of the over-productive, over achievers! Kate you are simply gobsmackingly good at getting it out there (yes I just tortured that word!). Your work - the breadth, depth and quality - is outstanding. If you didn't produce another single word for years, we'd all still be scrambling like crazed imposters trying to produce even a smidge of what you have done. If I was you, I'd go take a long, quiet, lovely break for a year or so. You more than deserve it! That said, thanks for writing this piece. As someone who has downed tools for a little while, I take heart... and even a wee bit of comfort from knowing 'even Kate Mann' has to kick back!

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Where is the blush emoji? Thank you for these incredibly kind words. Honestly I feel like a giant sloth most of the time--I just have writing hyperfixations too! Wishing you much rest and respite and joy 🙏❤️

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Oct 10, 2023Liked by Kate Manne

Thank you for this, Kate. I always enjoy reading your work and learning from you.

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Aug 26, 2023Liked by Kate Manne

Hi Kate,

I just wanted to say thank you for this great reminder that tiredness is not a virtue. I will certainly keep it in mind as I begin my work in higher ed and a masters in higher ed at the same time. I also wanted to say that I appreciate all the book, show, and podcast recommendations.

Best,

Aurora

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Thank you! This is so nice to hear, Aurora. Please keep in touch. I'm always so eager to hear how you are. ❤️

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And congratulations on these wonderful new opportunities!

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Just pre-ordered your book via Bookshop.org Thank you for your hard work and for resting up! Untying the knot between self-worth and productivity is crucial for everyone.

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Thank you so much! Sending my warmest 🙏❤️

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Jul 27, 2023Liked by Kate Manne

I’ll try to keep the importance of rest close to my mind the next few months. I’m just entering the third trimester of pregnancy with my second child, and my work recently announced they will layoff “at least 40% of staff” in the indeterminate future, which I estimate being during my maternity leave. I’m super stressed, especially because I’m the only income earner in my household, but I’m wondering how productive it is to look for another job now when I’m so obviously pregnant, when even if I get a new job it wouldn’t give me maternity leave, and when I’m not even sure when exactly I’m losing my job, if I even lose it. I’m just so terrified of everything happening in the early postpartum months that I want to plan ahead now, but maybe rest is in order? It’s easier said than done but I’m going to try to keep your post in mind.

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Oh my goodness, Julia, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Sending all the sympathy and solidarity and warm wishes for your pregnancy. May you rest!

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I liked this piece very much, Kate! As always, I admire you tremendously and appreciate your thoughtful & incisive commentary.

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Thank you so much, Rick! I really appreciate your kind words

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Hooray for new romance fans! Based on the authors you’ve mentioned enjoying, if you haven’t read any Charish Reid yet, I think you’d like her books a lot. I haven’t had a chance to read her most recent novels yet, but Hearts on Hold is pretty awesome (and set in academia!).

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Jul 27, 2023·edited Jul 27, 2023Author

Ooh, thank you so much! Will definitely check them out.

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